Jem
by katastrophic88
Summary: (Oneshot) They had a past history together that never was truly over. When it comes down to it, can Dee completely forget the love they shared or will it come back stronger than ever?


**A/N: A one-shot just for the hell of it. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: No own, don't sue.**

* * *

Ryo grudgingly put his book down as he got up to open the door; surprised to see Dee standing there once he did. "Hey Dee, what's up?" The Detective stepped aside to let his visitor in, smiling as Dee kissed his forehead.

"Not much, I just wanted to talk to you about something." Ryo nervously looked at Dee, and wondered if something was wrong. The younger Detective sat on the couch with a sigh, extending a hand towards Ryo to sit next to him.

"Ryo, you know that I love you, hell half the whole precinct does. But, I'm not entirely sure of how you feel about me." Dee held up a hand as Ryo opened his mouth, asking Ryo to let him finish before starting. "I'm not saying that you have to decide now or anything, I just want to give you space. Its just that I can't put my entire life on hold for something that may or may not come through. Is that understandable?"

Ryo slowly nodded, unsure of what this all meant. "So, you want to end things between us?" Dee laughed and shook his head, green eyes dancing as he looked into confused brown ones.

"Of course not, although it would be hard to end something that hasn't really started. If you decide that you do want to have a relationship with me, then I'm all for it. If not we can always be friends. I love you Ryo and I want to be sure that you want to give 100 into a relationship with me, just the same as I want to for you." Dee stroked Ryo's face, kissing his nose in utter adoration.

"Does this mean that we will be seeing other people or…no?" Dee bit his lip, not sure how to answer Ryo's question.

"Actually, I think it would be best…for you I mean. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely not trying to get rid of you. But I'm thinking that if you have some time to cool off, then you'll know how you feel about me better you know? If you still feel the heat away from the fire so to speak." Ryo nodded and flung his arms around Dee's neck, happy that the ebony-haired man had broached something he was too nervous to do.

"Okay, so how about I let you know in about a month?" Dee smiled and returned Ryo's hug, happy that things had gone so smoothly.

"As long as you need babe." Ryo sat back and grinned, a heavy burden lifted off his shoulders and cast into the air. Dee kissed his forehead one last time before slipping sunglasses over his nose, waving a hand as he walked out the door.

* * *

Dee walked into the office Monday morning, whistling a Foo Fighters tune to himself as he opened the door. Ryo hadn't come in to work yet, for which he was glad, so he just placed the bag of bagels he had bought for them on his desk; along with the coffee as well. Drake knocked on the door and poked his head in, surprised to see Dee there before Ryo.

"You're early aren't you, and something sure does smell good in here. Anyway, are you done with the Vermont case file?" Dee nodded and picked the file out of a stack next to his desk, handing it to Drake.

"Take a bagel with you if you want, make sure you get one for JJ too." Drake glanced warily at Dee, surprised to see him in such a charitable mood so early in the morning.

"Thanks!" Drake exclaimed as he picked two plain ones out of the bag, grinning at Dee as he breezed out the door. Ryo walked in a few minutes later.

"Morning Dee, whoa! What are you doing here?" Dee laughed at Ryo's shocked expression, reaching across his desk to close his mouth.

"I'm working duh. I picked up some bagels and coffee for us too." Ryo laughed and dug into the bag to pull out a blueberry bagel, glad that Dee had picked up his favorite.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, or are you an imposter?" Dee grinned and took a sip of his coffee, picking up a chart that needed to be filled. With a shrug the pair got down to work, leaving Ryo in awe over the seemingly "New Dee."

* * *

Laytner left the precinct and walked out to the parking lot, anticipating a nice spaghetti dinner at Ryo's house with Bikky and Carol. As he walked up to his car it started to rain, the clouds finally making good on the promise their gray faces had made all day. Dee quickly started his car but stopped when he say JJ walk out of the building. JJ looked up at the sky with a frown and proceeded to walk home in the rain with no umbrella.

Dee sighed and picked up his cell, dialing Ryo's number and waiting for him to pick up. "Hello, McClain residence."

"Hey Carol, its Dee. Can you tell Ryo that I'm going to be a little late? I have to drop JJ off at his house." Carol agreed to relay the message and hung up with a cheerful "See ya soon!" Dee pulled up next to the still walking figure and honked his horn, rolling down the window on the passenger's side.

"Come on JJ, I'll take you home. I don't want you to catch a cold." The young Detective smiled and got in the car, shaking out the water in his hair.

"Thank you Dee." Dee smiled and pulled off, following JJ's directions to his house. The pair made light conversation for the fifteen minutes it took to get there, the small car full of laughter and fond memories of the police academy they attended in LA.

"Dee, will there ever be another chance for us? I still love you." Dee parked the car in front of the apartment complex and turned to face JJ, green eyes warm with fondness for the young man.

"I know you do JJ and I still feel something for you, what we had was too strong to just end the way it did." JJ desperately grabbed Dee's hand, eyes full of hope and disappointment.

"Then why did it end? I don't understand Dee, what is holding you back? Is it Ryo?" Dee sadly shook his head and held JJ's hands in his own, searching for the words to tell his ex-lover what happened.

"I don't know what happened Jem," JJ shivered at Dee's use of his old nickname, only he was allowed to call him that. "But know this, I can't promise you anything. I love Ryo and I love you too. When we were young, you were my first love, my only love but we are older now. I don't want to get your hopes up for something I can't guarantee; I don't want to play with your heart like that. I know it hurts."

"S-so there is no hope for me." Baby blue eyes were brimming with tears, a sad smile giving the man an Angel like quality. The sight wrenched at Dee's heart and he desperately wanted to kiss those tears away and banish them forever with his love.

"I'm going to have to say no Jem. There is no hope. If I said differently, I would only be giving you false hope." JJ nodded, and looked down into his lap, tears staining his pants.

"Dee,…c-can you do something for me?" Dee nodded, waiting for JJ's request. "C-could you spend the night with me sometime? I know it would only be for a night but I need you, please…just for one night." Dee whispered his acceptance as he wiped tears off wet cheeks, placing a soft kiss on quivering lips as well.

"Yes Jem, I can. I don't want to give you a taste of something and then steal it from you but if this is what you really want, then yes." JJ smiled and kissed Dee passionately, pouring all his emotion, all of his heartache into it.

"Thank you Dee, thank you so much." Dee smiled and nodded, waiting until JJ waved from his apartment window before driving off into the rain.

* * *

Dee walked into his dark apartment late that night, stomach full with a delicious dinner and heart brimming with contentment. He didn't bother to turn on the lights and headed straight for the shower, hoping that it would relax him. _Well I'm actually surprised that Carol's advice worked. It does seem as though Ryo and I are closer when I'm not pawing over him. In fact, I guess one could say we are better as friends…_

Dee shampooed his hair and shut his eyes as the suds ran down his face, still thinking about his car ride to JJ's house. _But then again, what about Jem? He's been through so much and I wouldn't ever want to add more to his pain. What will it do to him if did end up hooking up with Ryo? He deserves better than that. I still love him…_

The Detective sighed and rinsed his hair out, picking up his wash cloth and lathering it up with soap. _I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I just hope things won't go as bad as I feel they will._ Dee rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, drying himself off and putting on a clean pair of boxers. He walked into the kitchen to the telephone to check his messages, surprised that JJ had called while he was out. Clicking the blinking red button to play it back, Dee got a beer out of the fridge and leaned against the counter as JJ's voice floated across the room.

"Um, hi Dee. I just wanted to say thank you for driving me home today. Thanks to you I didn't catch a cold." Dee chuckled and took a swig of his beer, imagining the slight blush on JJ's face when he had kissed him. "I just wanted to tell you that I know you are tied to Ryo, even though your relationship is on a momentary hiatus and I respect that. I don't want my feelings to interfere with your future so, after tomorrow night I will be applying for a transfer. It's the last thing I want to do but I know that if I stay around, it will only cause undue pain for both of us." Dee swallowed hard at JJ's words, knowing that it was for the best but it still made his heart ache. "I love you so much Dee that it hurts and I don't want to hurt you and Ryo. Good night Dee."

There was a click as the message ended and all in the apartment was silent except for the sound of tears hitting the floor.

* * *

Detective Laytner pulled up in front of JJ's apartment, grabbing the single rose he bought earlier to give to JJ. He slowly made his way up the stairs to the sixth floor and nervously knocked on the door, smiling as he heard a small puppy barking behind it. The young Detective opened the door an smiled, a black Scottish terrier held firmly under his arm.

"Hey Dee, come on in. Dinner is almost ready." JJ closed the door behind Dee and put the little dog on the floor, laughing as she tried unsuccessfully to bite Dee's hand. "Her name is Gi-Gi, don't worry she doesn't bite." Dee handed JJ the rose who raised it closer to his eyes, as though he were seeing things.

"Dee how? What?" The rose was very fragrant and had an unusual color to it. Instead of being all black, or all white it was a mix of both. A swirling pattern of black and white patterning the delicate petals.

"I had to pay extra to get that one, I saw it and I couldn't help but think of you and me. I had to get it for you." JJ smiled and went into the kitchen to place it in a vase, humming a tune under his breath.

Dee sat on the floor and allowed Gi Gi to sniff him, smiling as she nudged his hand to be petted. He looked around the small room and saw that is was tastefully decorated, soft beige walls accented by dark blue trim. Paintings and pictures were everywhere and he instantly recognized the painting of a sunflower field that he had given JJ for their one year anniversary. With a sad smile he looked at the picture underneath it, mind flying back to when the picture was taken. It was a picture of him sitting on a stool, hand extended to the easel in front of him. There was a streak of blue paint on his cheek and his clothes were covered in an assortment of colors, face displaying a look of concentration. JJ had always said that this was his favorite picture of Dee, with the light pouring in through the large studio window; creating a glowing outline around him.

Dee stood from the picture and walked into the kitchen, watching as JJ tried to reach for something in a high cabinet. The older Detective stood behind JJ and reached over him, placing the serving plate gently in his slender hands. "Thanks" JJ put the plate down and looked up into emerald eyes, sighing softly as tender hands played with his wavy hair. Dee leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on JJ's nose, like he had so many times before, before placing another on his lips.

Gi Gi barked from the floor and tried to climb up Dee's leg, tail wagging so hard that it shook her entire body. Dee laughed and picked her up, twirling her around the kitchen as JJ laughed at the sight of Dee dancing with a dog. "Dee you're going to make her sick!" Dee stopped and put the dog down, chuckling as she walked away unsteadily.

The pair sat down to eat peppered salmon and rice, along with asparagus and red wine; talking about anything and everything that came to mind. By the end of dinner they both were completely at ease with each other and what tension had been there before had dissipated. Dishes were a joint effort and the detectives engaged in a water-flicking contest, both of them walking out the kitchen with damp shirts.

"That wasn't fair! You weren't supposed to dump a glass of water on my head Dee, that's cheating!" JJ glared at Dee although he was laughing to hard to hold it for long.

"Oh yea! Well take this!" Dee tackled JJ onto the couch and started to tickle him, knowing that the younger man was very _very_ ticklish. Dee grinned as JJ tried to squirm out of his reach, only to be dragged back towards Dee with a tug on the leg. Laytner didn't stop until there were tears rolling down JJ's cheeks, his breath coming erratically from all the laughing.

JJ Adams sat up and glared at Dee. His lavender hair all messed up and his clothes disarrayed. "You are evil Dee Laytner. Pure evil." Dee laughed and pulled JJ into a rough embrace, sighing as the younger man sank into his arms. The pair cuddled in comfortable silence, each party wrapped up in their own thoughts.

Dee buried his nose in JJ's fragrant hair, inhaling deeply the ever comforting scent of his ex-lover; Jupiter Breeze. JJ sighed as Dee ran his hands up and down his back, listening to the older man's heartbeat as he breathed. "Jem… did you ask me here tonight because it would have been four years today?" JJ lifted his head from Dee's chest, looking at the Detective in wonder.

"You remembered, I can't believe you remembered." Dee took a hand and softly held JJ's chin, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

"Of course I remember, how could I forget?" JJ smiled and kissed Dee again, moaning as Dee's tongue slipped into his mouth. Dee sat up and held JJ between his legs, grasping the back of his shirt as JJ ran fingers through wild black hair. _How long have I denied myself what I really wanted, how long have I pushed away the one for me?_

Dee groaned as JJ moved his midsection against his, creating a pleasant friction that stoked the fire of his desire towards the younger Detective. "Jem…oh God Jem I want you." JJ moaned at Dee's pleading tone, throwing his head back in pleasure as Dee nibbled on his neck.

"Take me Dee, everything I have, everything I am is yours." Dee pulled back and looked up into bright blue eyes, smiling when he saw the love swimming in their depths. It was all the reassurance he needed as he picked up JJ's thin frame and walked into the bedroom, closing the door with a soft click behind them.

* * *

JJ woke up alone after the best night of his life in over three years, feeling the tears brimming in his eyes as he felt the now cold spot on the bed beside him. _I knew that it was only a one-night thing but I still wish he stayed, I'll miss him so much. _With a sob he rolled over to the spot where Dee laid next to him, inhaling his scent from the pillow. He lifted his head up when he felt something crinkle under his body, reaching under the covers to pull up a small folded not with "Jem" written on it.

_Morning Darling, I'm sorry I couldn't stay. I had to change clothes and get ready for work. I had a wonderful time with you last night and it made me happy to be with you, short though it was. I ask that you will forgive me for saying this but I love you, and I pray for your happiness. See you at work. Yours truly Dee_

JJ smiled and rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom, happy that wherever he went, he would still have a piece of Dee's heart with him. Some people wouldn't settle for that, but it was enough for JJ.

* * *

Dee tossed down another beer as everyone was dancing and laughing at JJ's farewell party, wishing the young Detective luck on his new assignment. Everyone had made a speech, even Dee, although he had a hell of a time trying to keep the emotion out of his voice. Now he was trying to drink himself into oblivion, trying to stop the heartache at the prospect of JJ leaving for sunny California. Ryo was off somewhere dancing with a Janet and JJ was standing in the middle of a large circle of well-wishers, accepting their compliments and 'good-lucks' with gratitude.

Dee smiled and grabbed his coat, intent on leaving before he broke down into tears or confessed his feelings for the young Detective out of desperation. Neither would bode well for the ebony-haired man. He decided to walk home, he had his gun with him, hoping that the chilly autumn air would help clear his head.

The Detective placed a hand on his gun as he heard footsteps running behind him, spinning around to find himself face to face with a very flushed JJ. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"

Dee looked at the ground, trying hard not to beg the Detective not to leave. "I….didn't want to make a spectacle of myself." JJ smiled and wrapped his arms around Dee, leaning up to kiss him gently.

"Dee, I'm only a phone-call away, and you can always visit." Dee shook his head and wiped tears out of his eyes, looking down at JJ with all the love and adoration in the world. "And know this. I don't hate you or think little of you just because you are in love with two people. I'm just glad that Ryo will be able to experience the joy you brought me, every single day." Dee broke down in tears and sank to the sidewalk, leaning into JJ's strong embrace as he comforted the older man.

"Thank you, thank you so much Jem. Thank you." The pair said their goodbyes on the steps of the old NYPD 27th, the very place where they met again for the first time.

* * *

Dee ran up the stairs to Ryo's apartment, glancing at his watch he realized that JJ would be on a plane to California within the hour. Ryo opened the door as soon as he knocked, a smile gracing his handsome features.

"Hey Dee, come on in." Dee walked in and sat on the couch, a light kiss placed on his forehead as Ryo sat down next to him. "I have come to my decision." Dee raised his eyebrows in surprise, it had only been three weeks.

"A month isn't up yet, are you sure?" Ryo nodded his head and looked into emerald eyes, taking a deep breath before he started his explanation.

"I love you Dee and I always will but, I think we are better off as friends." Dee sighed and looked away but for some reason, his heart wasn't breaking like he thought it would, it was already broken last night. "That and I know that there is someone else who deserves your love more than I do, and if you hurry up you might be able to catch him."

Dee's head snapped up to look over at Ryo, his heart leaping when he saw the smile on the Detective's face. "Are you for real? How did you know?" Ryo shook his head and laughed, telling Dee that it was obvious from day one that he still loved JJ; half the precinct already knew that Ryo was just a distraction. "And you're not mad?"

"No Dee, I'm not. I do love you and I know that you truly did love me but… well what can I say except one has to do what they think is best. And this is what I think is best." Dee sat flabbergasted, not knowing whether to start crying from disbelief or laugh from happiness. "So don't just sit there, go get JJ! Hurry up!" Ryo flung Dee's coat at him and pushed the man out the door, smiling to himself as Dee ran down the stairs nosily. _May you go with God's speed Dee._ As Ryo turned to head back into the house, his neighbor across the hall dropped her groceries in disbelief when she saw the halo hovering over Ryo's head and the white wings sprouting from his back, smiling to herself because she knew Angels truly existed.

* * *

Dee ran through the terminal at breakneck speed, hurling apologies over his shoulder as he bumped into other people in his haste to get to gate C22 before the plane took off. The flight attendant was just about to close the door when Dee ran past her, thundering down the walkway and into the plane cabin. Ignoring the flight attendant pulling him back out of the door, he yelled JJ's name praying that the young Detective could hear him over the jet engines.

With a final yell he was shoved out of the cabin, being dragged kicking and yelling by two security guards. With a cry of anger Dee shook with waves of grief, knowing that JJ was far out of his reach now and no matter how much he wanted him back, he couldn't ask the young Detective to change his life again for him.

JJ had heard Dee and ran to the front of the cabin as he was being dragged away, trying desperately to call back to him. The flight attendant had closed the doors and urged the Detective to return to his seat, but JJ wasn't having any of it.

"Ma'am have you ever been in love? Ever needed somebody so bad that you would give up your very life for them? Well that's my love, my soul mate being dragged away from me and I'll be damned if some door made out of plastic and metal is going to stop me from getting to him." The flight attendant looked at him and nodded, knowing that she would do anything for her husband and children. She wished JJ luck as he ran back into the terminal, smiling to herself as she passed JJ's now empty plane seat.

JJ ran after Dee, keeping blue eyes trained on the security guards escorting him as they took him through the terminal. With a yell we tackled the older Detective, holding onto him for dear life.

"JJ! Oh my God JJ you're here!" Dee clutched the man to him, ignoring the crowd of people staring at them on the floor. "I thought I lost you, I thought you were gone forever."

JJ pulled back and looked into green eyes, wondering why Dee had come after him. "Ryo?"

Dee shook his head as hard as he could, green eyes full of joy, "I'm here with his blessing. No more Ryo, only us." JJ laughed and kissed Dee for all he was worth, oblivious to the shouts and hollers of approval that the crowd had generated in the couple's favor. "I love you Jem, and I'm never letting go of you again."

"I love you too Dee, you have me for always." The pair kissed again and smiled as tears gathered at the corner of their eyes, tears of sorrow had given way to tears of joy.

JJ helped Dee up and the pair walked out to Dee' car hand in hand. JJ had ripped up his plane ticket and tossed it in the trash, eyes and heart set on living the rest of his days out with Dee, forever and always.

**And that's a wrap, of AD will be updated very soon, sorry for the wait. Thanks for reading! Katty D.**


End file.
